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| Love-stamp of United States |
Washington: A majority of Americans believe that love is the main
foundation of marriage and most who never have been married say they would like
to be at some point in their lives, Pew Research Center survey reveals.
Among married people, 93% say love is a very important reason
to get married; 84% of unmarried people say so. Men and women are equally
likely to say love is a very important reason to get married.
However, statistics show Americans aren’t rushing to the
altar, and the U.S. marriage rate is at an all-time low—only 51% of adults were
married in 2011, according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics.
The romantic ideal of marriage plays out in survey data that
show whether they are married or not, Americans are more inclined to choose
“love” as a reason for marriage than any other factor.
In a 2010 Pew Research Center survey, love wins out over
“making a lifelong commitment,” as well as “companionship,” “having children,”
and “financial stability” as a very important reason to wed.
But love only goes so far. Most Americans cast cold water on
a central premise of many a song or poem, that each person in the universe has
only one true love. About seven-in-ten (69%) people do not agree with that
notion; only 28% do. Among those who do agree, men (31%) are slightly more
likely to do so than women (26%). Young and old, married and unmarried are equally
skeptical.
Do You Want to Marry?
Especially for those who have never wed, marriage remains a
life goal. About six-in-ten (61%) men and women who have never married say they
would like to get married, according to the 2010 Pew Research survey. Only 12%
say they do not want to marry and 27% are not sure.
That same survey found that a trip to the altar is not so
appealing for those who have been there before.
Among divorced adults, only 29% say they would like to marry again, with
women more likely than men to say they do not want another trip down the aisle.
Among widowed men and women, only 8% want to wed again.
Men and women’s attitudes about marrying for the first time
are not different among young adults. But among never-married adults ages 30 to
50, men (27%) are more likely than women (8%) to say they do not want to marry.
Though they say they would like to wed, most Americans are
not in a hurry to do so. In 2011, the median age at first marriage was at a
record high—about 29 for men and about 27 for women, according to census data.
The median age at first marriage, which declined for the first half of the 20th
century, has been rising since then. As recently as the early 1980s, the median
age for men was 25 and for women 22.
Why this apparent disjunction between belief and reality?
Marriage now has more competition from other lifestyles, such as living alone
or living with an unmarried partner. A rising share of births are to mothers
who are not married, meaning that marriage is no longer seen by many as the
only gateway to parenthood. (The divorce rate has gone down since the 1980s and
is less of a factor than it used to be.)
The postponement of many markers of adulthood also plays a
role. A rising share of young adults, especially women, are pursuing advanced
degrees, and waiting for marriage until they are done with their education and
established in the workplace. The choices of these young adults are in large
part responsible for the growing share of Americans who have never married.
Still, so far, the vast majority of Americans do marry at
some point. Among those ages 45 and older, about nine-in-ten have been married.
Is Marriage an
Important Goal?
Marriage is an important goal for most Americans, although
it may not be their top priority. Having a successful marriage is “one of the
most important things” in life for 36% of adults, according to a 2011 Pew
Research survey. An additional 48% said it is “very important but not the most”
important. Being a good parent was seen as “one of the most important things”
by a larger share of adults (53%).
Men and women overall do not answer differently in rating
the priority of a successful marriage to them, but there are differences among
young adults, ages 18 to 34. About four-in-ten (39%) young women say that
having a successful marriage is “one of the most important things” in their
life, compared with about three-in-ten (29%) young men who say so.
Advantages of
Marriage?
What are the advantages of marriage? According to the
public, it is easier for a married person than a single person to raise a
family (77% say so). But in other realms of life asked about in the 2010 Pew
Research survey, most people do not think either married or single people have
an easier time of it. In fact, about half or more think there is no difference
between being married or single in the ease of having a fulfilling sex life,
being financially secure, finding happiness, getting ahead in a career or
having social status.
Among the minority who say marital status does make a
difference in life, marriage is deemed better in all of the listed realms but
one. When it comes to getting ahead in a career, being single wins out, 24% to 14%.